I've Never Been to Therapy: I Don't Know What to Expect

How do I know if I need counseling?

Well, do you feel unseen or afraid to be seen? Do you hear yourself using “should” and “shouldn’t” when it comes to what you think or feel? Do you feel confused about your behaviors or choices because they don’t match how you see yourself? Or are you asking, why me or why not me? 

Such experiences can be signs that you may feel stuck, lost, or no longer in control; and wondering how to change your life to feel validated, loved, and accepted. Like anyone else, you want to feel like you are living life on purpose and with purpose. 

Whether you feel you are battling an anxiety or depression slump, feeling like you aren’t sure of who you are and in need of an identity overhaul, trapped in a standstill after sexual or relationship trauma, or have just plain had enough of this whole pandemic business, counseling can help.

What is counseling like?

Not easy. Let’s just get that out there first and foremost. Counseling is meant to push you outside your comfort zone into growth and change. That, let me tell you, is uncomfortable and generally comes with tears (which by the way, is normal and expected). Change is scary even when we want it. You are, however, in a safe, accepting space with someone who is there to help you carry the load without judging what it is that you carry with you.

How long does it take?

This is hard to put a number on but like the quote above, there will be periods when you feel able to take on challenges and banish the darkness, and other times you may step back into what is familiar and comfortable, despite the dysfunction. This is also normal and part of the process, because feelings are complex, and sifting through them, takes time.

Everyone’s situation is different. People vary in many areas such as:

The list goes on. But things that help include:

"In any given moment, we have two options: to step forward into growth or to step back into safety."

-Abraham Maslow